My Rocks

As for my latest episode of N/T... it lasted 3.5 hours and afterwards my legs felt sore/tight for a bit despite movement.

Things have been really rough for me lately. I've been so down in the dumps and constantly plagued by these new developments. Until tonight I haven't really laughed or enjoyed life, but Kiki and Coco changed all of that. ;) Luckily I have a huge group of people who have been wonderful this last week and even before that. I haven't told many people about what is going on; it gets tiresome repeating it over and over. But those I have told have been nothing short of amazing. So here is the run down:

Josh: Right away when the NP said pregnancy might be too much of a strain on my back I told him that if having biological children was really important, that he could opt out now. His response: "We can adopt and help other kids." He is a keeper. When he was in town he would attend all of my appointments like a trooper. He did a great job taking care of the dogs and the house while I was away for appointments. When I got back he was waiting with a potted gerbera daisy and tons of love. He researched insurance options for when my coverage runs out. Most of all he has been there for me, even when he isn't exactly sure what to say or do. Him just being there helps. I know more than anything that I made the best choice of my life when I said "yes".

My Parents: My mom has been attending appointments with me when Josh can't make it. She has been keeping family updated, so I don't have to tell the same story over and over. And she gives good hugs. :) My dad is good for long and concerned phone calls. He has a neurological history so this really hits home for him for me to be going through all of this testing and uncertainty.

Jessica: She is the only pregnant woman I don't resent at the moment (I'm bitter at life.). I'm so excited for her little one to arrive and it distracts me from everything bad. She kept me busy when I would've had down time by going out to eat and celebrating at her baby shower.

Denise: She has shown concern for me despite her own medical drama that was occurring at the same time. She also continues to be such a great friend to my mom, which is always a good thing.

Andrew: He stopped by for a short visit one evening right after all of my testing. He was genuinely concerned about everything going on and was such an easy person to talk to and get everything off of my chest. His hugs and support helped a lot during that time.

Jim and Judy: While I didn't intercept their calls, I heard about them. They were frequent callers for updates from my parents. It means a lot.

Jim and Fawn: They have shown so much concern through all of this. They are always sensitive to how I'm doing and continue to dish out their undying love and support.

Mike: He said it best right away after my first bad phone call, "We'll still take you." I almost cried.

Em: She gets freaked out if I don't update her often enough or call enough. Her actions remind me how welcome I am in their family.

The Stouts: Continually have outpouring concern and well-wishes. They are the best set of 3rd grandparents anyone could ask for.

Bobby: He makes me laugh. Obviously I'm falling apart because he left town.... Oh what shall I do? Haha! He really brightened my days when he said he will be able to get out of training for our wedding! Best big brother ever!

Mama B: Sent a really heartfelt message. She is such a wonderful and caring person for being so many miles away and only seeing me once a year.

Kelly: Ever since test one, she "badgers" (in only the best way) me with texts for updates. She continually sends me funny things to help pick me up. Her electronic love is definitely felt. We had long talks about pregnancy and she knows how strongly I feel about being a mother... next time we get together it will include drowning the bad things in ice cream and doing rain dances for happy future outcomes. She is continually there for me even when I don't realize I need someone.

Ashley: I was having a horrible day and cancelled our dinner plans because I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from life. But she is unstoppable and before I got home brought over another gorgeous gerbera daisy (my plant table has grown quite a bit!) and Culver's ice cream. (She even brought some for Josh because she is awesome like that.) It was exactly what I needed to get through the night/not feel so alone. We have since had our dinner and plans for future yummy-ness. It helps having someone in town who knows me well enough that we don't have to talk about bad things and she just knows how I feel.

Nikki: She was able to grant me a very good and distractable wish - to meet her boyfriend. That was nice, and so was he. We got to sit around and gossip and it felt just like it did back in the day before things were so complicated.

Cassie: Oh my goodness. When I sent her a message to tell her everything that happened, she balled her eyes out and started texting me rapid fire, which turned into an hour long phone call. I never knew I had such a good friend in her. She is a really diamond in the rough. I definitely approve of her to be with my brother.

Ashley: Between the two of us, we are a disaster right now! She has some nasty medical issues going on as well, but can still pour out the sympathy. I'm so glad we grew closer these past few years. She is so understanding of everything I'm going through, and overall just an amazing person to have on hand whenever I need someone to talk to.

Olivia: She freaked out when I didn't call her after a few days to give her an update. She has been so supportive. She also got me to laugh till I cried tonight. We had such a good time at dinner; it's what I've been missing lately.

Kim: She has been through the ringer herself and knows what types of fears I've been trying to suppress. She called right away to assess how I'm holding up, and then to tell me about the chance of a misdiagnosis....she is such a nurse! I love her to death!

Maggie: She was great to talk to while I drove up for more testing. She also lets me come over to her place when I really need a distraction. She is overly accommodating with shows/food/a cute puppy. Her apartment is the perfect place to escape to.

There are a ton of other people who have been there and been supportive that I feel need to be mentioned: Amanda (for listening despite her own problems), Clyde (for the words of encouragement), Dana (for checking in on me), Ashton (for being the MOST inspiring/encouraging), and other aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.

I'm really blessed to have all of these people in my life. I'm blessed.