Good Things Come in Small Packages

Yesterday I was watching my soap opera (*hides face in shame*) when there was a knock at the door. I figured it was a neighbor or someone. The dogs started barking like crazy! I opened the door and saw no one but a small brown package was leaning against the door. It was from Amazon. I didn't order anything from Amazon...did Josh? Normally our orders are addressed to him but this one was addressed to me. I tore into it. (The dogs helped.) I pulled out a book: The Official Patient's Sourcebook for Syringomyelia. The receipt was tucked in with it. It was from Kelly and told me to "Punch SM in the face!" :) I instantly teared up. When I talked to her later that night she was telling me how she had a hard time researching this disease and figured I might have had trouble finding reliable sources too. So this book lists TONS of credible websites for information on the disease, clinical trials, support centers, etc. It contains everything you would ever try to look up on the internet regarding SM and where to find it.

I feel very loved. Kelly is always so busy with grad school and work, and yet she took the time to look online for things... get frustrated... think of me... and order me a book so I don't have to face the same frustrations. I still can't believe it. After all the shittiness of life lately, it's the little things that bring a ray of sunshine into a dark place. So again... Thank you Kelly.

Back to the bad. Left arm tingling again today. Lasted for just over an hour. Lame lame lame. I'm really afraid that one of these times the tingling will start and not go away. That is my all time biggest fear right now. It would mean my syrinxes are progressing. It would mean that despite surgery the tingling would remain. A constant reminder of what is wrong with my body.

I keep coming up with other names for this blog:

-Life Walking on Eggshells

-Welcome to my World in a Bubble

All things about how limited I feel. I watched The Biggest Loser tonight. The contestants ran a 5k. I will never run a 5k again. I will never run again. :(